detox

i've been wound up like a top all week...

the weekend with mom was fun, but fast. and i never realize - until it's too late - just how much i internalize stress. i swear, it's going to kill me someday. the stressors really piled up earlier this week: the pressure of being a good hostess for mom, a huge uber-important presentation for work on monday, particularly frustrating clients this week at work, and an assortment of after-hours design work for my hubby's film. all in all, nothing too horrible, but stressful no less. and while i try and try to think myself into calm, coax myself into worry-free and maintain a grateful-for-my-blessings attitude, somewhere, deep inside, it just doesn't happen. instead of being carefree, fun, and happy i am instead uptight, irritable, and recklessly self-abusive. ugh.

so tonight i came home and caught myself on the brink of another downward spiral. every night this week i have coped with stress in some unhealthy way... whether it was drinking half a bottle of wine or watching TV all night, i came home tonight angry about overdue library books (can you believe it's $2 a day for a late DVD?) and thinking that chocolate and wine sounded much better than yoga.

no.

that was it. i had to put my foot down. it's thursday, and after tomorrow i have a full week off during which i'm headed to iceland for 3 days alongside partying friends and family. this wallowing in anxiety had to stop!

so, i turned on some good tunes, rolled out the mat, and did chatarangas til my arms were sore. i twisted out the stress in my back and abs, then finished with a hot bath. by then, i was so refreshed i didn't care that toonces was on the edge of the tub drinking and tapping her paws in the water.

i'm continuing this detoxification and it feels fantastic. a light, healthy dinner, a blog post (which doubles as a mental release of sorts) and soon to come: an all-out guitar jam session.

ahhhh. i feel better. why did i wait until thursday?