The Brave and the Kind

I've written recently about my husband's tireless perseverance and passion for filmmaking. Luckily, he's also pretty damn good at it. Not only do I think so, our friends and family think so, but IndiePix Films - an online film distribution company setting the tone for innovative marketing and distribution - thinks so, too. Which is why they've agreed to fully fund and market John's next feature film, The Brave and the Kind.

It's been an exciting couple of months for us... first with the distribution deal for John's first feature, EVERY GOOD THING to RUST. John immediately connected with Jason Tyrell, IndiePix's Film Submission Coordinator, who was eager to extend the company arm into producing. Through Jason, the concept for The Brave and the Kind was born.

To be shot throughout the next 2 1/2 months, The Brave and the Kind is an alternative biopic, with characters that are all based on - and some played by - real people. And not just any people, but us. That is, me, John, and his family. The main character is John Yost, a filmmaker trying to find direction in his life. And while the script runs parallel to our real life, it veers down a completely different path, "wondering" aloud how our lives would be impacted by major life-changing events.

When John first began working on the script with our buddy Randall Meehl, he asked, "So when are we going to make a movie that's not about you?" Yes, it's true... John's senior thesis film, Johnny, was a similar, but more surreal, musical (there was no dialog at all) version The Brave and the Kind, and RUST was based on John and his buddies during an imaginary catastrophic event. But answering Randall's question, John says that this is the last time - he's done "exploring" himself, and is considering adapting a book if there is another film.

So all of this excitement is subdued right now, as we're both distracted by the colossal amount of work before us. The official film website, which will parallel the production of the film in the same way the script parallels our life, through diary entries and behind the scenes videos, launched earlier this week, with an official announcement scheduled after the Memorial Day weekend.


John with actor Ethan Weiss, who will be playing him in the film. A still shot from the first behind the scenes video. Watch the full video here.

While the shooting schedule is finalized and the timeline becomes clear, IndiePix is laboring over finding sponsors and growing the online life of the project. Sitting back and watching it all unfold, I am strangely calm about it all. We both, of course, hope for success. For John, that means the chance to find a broader audience and make another film with an even bigger budget. For me, that means watching my husband do what he loves and get the recognition he deserves. For both of us, it might mean skyrocketing us towards what we've always wanted: to be free from our burdens of debt, free to continue doing what we love on our own terms, free to go where we please.

But, we're keeping level heads about it all. The potential is there, certainly, and we both realize what a tremendous opportunity has been planted at our feet. Now it's just time to take the ball and run with it... no matter what happens, it's an adventure that we can only benefit from. I'll keep you posted...

Wedded Bliss*

"Moderation is key." "Balance is everything."

I've heard these little phrases throughout my life, and almost daily I find new applications to their wisdom. Too many cups of coffee and I'm uptight, anxious, stressed. Not enough and I'm a spacey slug. Too much work equals exhaustion, despondence. And too much play creates a disconnect, a lack of appreciation.

Not that I claim to be a relationship expert, but in my seven-and-counting years with my husband John, balance has been the single most important ingredient to our mutual content.

Interestingly, I think relationships of any kind begin with a certain level of selfishness. We want something outside of ourselves to bring us happiness that we cannot attain alone. Even if we feel solid in our own independence, we know somewhere inside that fulfillment must come from an external source. Eager and vulnerable, we seek love and acceptance from others, all the while trying - with varying success - to give it back. We all have friends, I'm sure, that demonstrate varying levels of selfishness in their relationship approach: on one end, the friend that gives and gives almost to their own detriment, never expecting anything in return; on the other end, the friend that - whether intentionally or not - only seems to surface when a need is to be fulfilled, prefers to talk rather than listen.

In any healthy relationship - and especially marriage - a healthy combination of the two is required. One must recognize when to listen, when to vent. When to be a provider, when to let the other be a rock. When to be present, when to allow space.

Since I've grown into an "adult," left home, and found my way, I have occasionally thought back to my young daydreams about marriage and relationships - seeds of idealism and fantasy surely planted by Seventeen and Teen magazines, not to mention the always-available slew of romantic comedies and sitcoms.

The Media seem to paint marriage, for young girls especially, as the apex of life's successes. With the exception of newer trends in media toward the dysfunction of marriage and the uber-cool single hipster lifestyle, Marriage is portrayed as the beginning and end of everything. It is what a girl yearns for her entire young life, thus justifying exorbitant spending on ceremonial absurdities.

And after the wedding? Few films show the truth about what happens after the confetti's been swept and the honeymoon is over. Anyone married will tell you: absolutely nothing. Yes, despite the supposed magic and lucid fantasies, you and your new spouse are exactly the same people after you enter into marriage, now only bound in a legal and spiritual commitment.

Fortunately for me, I figured this out before I tied the knot. In my vows I wrote, "I love you exactly as you are, right now, standing in front of me." I meant it, and today it's still true. John and I entered into marriage with no expectations other than to continue to be together.

Finding the balance in any relationship obviously takes work... honest, open communication (you've heard that one before, I'm sure!), a willingness to listen and grow, and a sincere, deep passion for each other are what help keep the balance in check.

Expectations are the biggest killer of any solid relationship... when we feel we must do something or that we are supposed to do something, real human desire is ignored and replaced with cold obligation. Squashing expectations has been one of the biggest joys of my married life: no, we don't have to have children - ever, even - if we don't want to. No, we don't have to settle down and buy a house. No, we don't have to buy each other meaningless material things on holidays and birthdays just because we're supposed to.

Instead, we try to live our marriage with soulful spontaneity, following our hearts rather than any prescribed pathways, always trying to see when desire is being swayed by obligation.

The joy that comes from doing what you love rather than what you think you should love radiates, and is contagious. My in-laws live this lifestyle whole-heartedly; they will drop everything to take a spontaneous trip, call in sick, sleep in the back of their van if they have to, and never complain when their own decisions make them a little uncomfortable. Their passion for life and each other is infectious and inspiring.

When one becomes two, it is even more important to approach life with flexibility, open-mindedness, and rigor. Expectations only bring disappointment, and ignoring your heart can spawn inner grief hollowness.

My advice (not that anyone asked) is to live wholly, honestly, and allow relationships room to grow. For John and I, it's worked beautifully; I feel content in my individual self, supported in my ever-evolving marriage, and a peace that can only come from pure, unconditional love.

* Bliss is a delusion. From balance comes peace and happiness.

An extremely uncreative but much-needed update

Spring is finally here... and with the radiant sunshine has come the anticipation of summer, the antsy excitement of life blooming and hope gleaming. Forgive the sap, but I am just sparkling with energy these days.

And in true Yost-Wright fashion (we are indeed an energetic team), the next 5 months are pretty much booked solid with weddings, parties, weekend trips, film shoots and concerts. The whirlwind has already begun...

Last Weekend
We scooted off early Friday afternoon towards Rochester, NY, where my parents live and where my little sister, Natalie, was visiting for the weekend. She'd flown up from Pensacola, FL where she is stationed as an Occupational Therapist for the US Navy. With her she brought her new son and my adorable little nephew, Gavin, as well as her fiancée, Mike to tie up the loose ends for their upcoming September wedding.







I had told her I wasn't able to come... so it was a sweet surprise when we rolled in Friday night. The weekend was fast but fun, with a girls-only shopping trip on Saturday afternoon and a mini-bachelorette party Saturday night at the local bar. My gram, aunts, and cousins all came out and we owned the place... the entire night was spent flinging ourselves around the dancefloor to early 90's dance-pop. We didn't leave town without Greek omelets at the Village House restaurant on Sunday morning...

Mid-Week NYC Romp
And in movie news... John's feature film EVERY GOOD THING to RUST premiered in New York on Wednesday evening as part of the NewFilmmakers series at the Anthology Film Archives. I took a couple personal days and we headed down for a night on the town... Meeting up first at IndiePix, the company currently distributing the film, and then I slipped into my heels for the movie night (note: Manhattan is NOT the best place to break in new heels...).

It was a night of reunions with friends showing up that we hadn't seen in years... after the screening we announced the next feature film, The Brave and the Kind, which is being produced and funded completely by IndiePix, then gathered at the Telephone Bar to reconnect with old pals. What a night! We closed down the bar at 2am, then headed to Brooklyn where we stayed and closed down another bar at 4am, before heading to our friend Katie's apartment for snacks and Wii (well, some of us crashed at that point...)

We didn't leave unscathed however, as we picked up a nice $65 parking ticket... New York never fails to remind us on every return visit why we chose to leave...

Salem, Mass
Friday night after work we packed up the car yet again and printed up our Google directions to Martha and Dougie's place in Salem, Massachusetts. First, though, we stopped briefly en route in Albany for the Albany Center Gallery's yearly Photo Regional, where John's "Stumps" piece was on display. After shooting the shit with some Skidmore professors that happened to be there and downing some red wine, we jumped on the Mass Pike and made it to Salem by 10PM.

We hadn't seen Martha and Doug since they lived out in the middle of nowhere in Maine 2 years ago, but since Martha scored a kick-ass job as the Director of New Media for the Peabody Essex Museum, they've moved back home for another adventure. Star chef Doug took no time moving to the top. After only four months in the area, he starts next week at Grill 23, one of Boston's premiere steakhouses.

The weekend was a blur of rain, wet dogs, red wine, cozy blankets, dancing, candlelight, delicious food, and oodles and oodles of great conversation. Hanging out with those two never fails to be spontaneous and wonderful, and we left today with hugs and promises to not let another two years pass before we do it again.

Next Weekend
The whirlwind continues as friends Dustin and Stacey come to town. We're headed up to Indian Lake for the weekend where we've rented a cabin and plan on canoing, BBQing, bonfire-ing, and more. And knowing Dustin, Keystone Ice is sure to be involved. Ahhh, life is good.

Now
Time to breathe, time to work. Got lots to do to make up for all the fun, and as I like to say: work hard, play hard. Cheers.