Me and Snow Falling

Metaphorically, I am a stilt walker.

Most of the time I am soaring above people, high on life, giddy about the possibilities, eager to make a difference. I go about much of my social life with such effort that I am often lost in the to-do lists, projects, parties, and plans to realize how effortlessly I'm trotting along.

But it doesn't take all that much for me to lose balance and come crashing down. First it might be a little gust of irritation. Then, perhaps a pebble of self-doubt. But before I realize what's happening, I'm teetering and swaying and shifting my footing but the result is always the same: a hard, sloppy crash.

Tonight was the inevitable crash landing. I had a fine, productive day. If anything was awry leaving work, it was simply that I was quite tired and the snow had been falling since noon. I marched to my car through the piling snow with much gusto, thinking of my warm apartment and loving cat and husband waiting for me. The snow was coming down hard; I crossed the street through thick rivets of accumulation, to the lone vehicle on the street covered in inches of white fluff.

I hadn't worn my boots this morning, and was mildly irritated but my spirits were still high. After tromping into the mounds around my car, feeling the cold hit my bare ankles, I climbed inside quickly, starting the engine and cranking up the heat and defrost. Almost there... I only had to bear the snow pushing up to my ankles for a few minutes of snow-brushing and I'd be home in minutes; Luckily, I live a half-mile from work.

I got out of the car, shut the door, and went for the back door where I keep the snow brush. To my confusion, the door was locked. Hmm. I had just hit the unlock button... So, I went back for the front door.

Locked.

And - just like that - it hit me: I had made the ultimate I'm-that-girl move. I had locked my keys in the car... and it was running. I had heard stories of people doing this before, and had always thought God, how could you be that dense? Now, I was that dense.

There was a moment of How did I do this?

Then, Oh, I must have hit Lock instead of Unlock.

Then, What the hell do I do now?

I knew there was only one option: go home. Since I don't have a cell phone (maybe that will be another entry someday titled "I was so happy living life without an electronic leash until the day I locked my keys in the car while it was running during the first major snowstorm of the winter")... and since I am so close to home, I did the only thing I could do: I started running.

I puffed and slid and stomped through the rising snowdrifts, my socks getting wetter, feet getting colder, and good spirit slowing but surely dissipating into the snowbanks around me. By the time I barged into the house I was furious; You'll never believe what I just did! I proclaimed. I am such a moron!

John stared at me coolly as I explained what had just happened, still gasping from running, still dripping with melting snow.

Well, it's a good thing we have Triple A. He said, fetching his card. Give them a call and we'll go get it. Not a big deal at all!

I glowered. Not a big deal?

I sat on the couch on hold with Triple A while John played with Toonces, tossing her mouse around, running across the living room and talking in his high-pitched little boy voice that is reserved for Toonces and occasionally me. I was fuming. How could he not be angry? Why is he not comforting me?

Finally, I got through and the operator informed me that, of course, there was a backup because of the storm and they would send someone to unlock my car... but it would be a two hour wait! That was it... I cracked. That's the moment when I came crashing down and there was no stopping me.

After stomping around like a child, slamming the dresser drawers as I changed my wet socks, and moping on the couch, John came and sat next to me.

"Want a quesadilla?" he asked in that same little boy voice.

I smiled. Then laughed.

"It's really not a big deal. That's what Triple A is for." He reassured me. And we went into the kitchen and made dillas for dinner.

By the time we got to my car, most of the snow had melted off from the heat that had been on for 2 hours. My keys were retrieved in mere seconds, and we were back home within ten minutes of leaving.

Now that I'm back home in my comfy sweatpants with peace restored, I realize that the stilt-walking is just part of my nature. After a good night's sleep, I'll be back up on top of the world in the morning. But mostly, what I've realized is that I've married the most wonderful man in the world, because even when I have hit the ground hard and am thrashing about like a wild woman, he just smiles and reaches out his hand.

Thanks sweetie, for always picking me back up.