Welcome, Change

I've heard people joke that the only thing certain about life is death and taxes. I'd argue that they're forgetting something else we can always count on: change. I'd also argue that of the three, it's the most troublesome... because unlike death and taxes, change is a constant, weighing reality that often makes life feel somewhat like a day at an amusement park: one minute we're enjoying an ice cream as we stroll along peacefully, and the next we're dangling upside down, screaming at the top of our lungs... half amused, and half terrified.

This past month, for me, can be best equated with the Sky Coaster.

The first time I decided to take flight on the Sky Coaster I was fifteen, quiet, but never one to turn down a challenge. I booked my 20 minute slot for later in the afternoon and spent the entire day trying to ignore the butterflies in my tummy. When my turn came, me and my 2 fellow flyers went through a brief safety tutorial, signed a waiver, and stepped into our harnesses before being tugged backwards, inch by inch, up an 18-story tower. The closer we were drawn to the top, the more my insides fluttered and churned with anticipation, the world below shrinking and fading into a surreal tapestry of miniatures. We reached the top and for a moment felt completely powerless... no longer remembering why I had gotten myself into this situation. And then, 3...2...1.... fly.

We pulled our rip-cord, and for two full seconds I dove, face-first, arms outstretched, wind rushing through my hair... and for one beautiful moment I was free, flying, adrenaline pulsing through every inch of me. And just as quickly as it happened, the bungee cord caught our weight and we swung out... out... and up again, sailing over the park and our family below, screaming and laughing through tears. We reached our peak, and gravity pulled us back again for another ride. There we swang, back and forth, squealing with joy, until gravity finally won... our feet returned to earth, our faces wild-eyed, our hair messed, our spirits soaring. It took me all night to calm down, and for the few hours after I flew on the Sky Coaster, I felt invincible.

The ride began last month, when after months and months of feeling the stir of change on the horizon, I found myself at a job interview at Overit Media in Albany, NY. I knew that it was only a matter of time before the right opportunity found me, and I knew after two hours of chatting with my soon-to-be creative teammates, I knew this was it. It took a few days to iron out the details, but in less than a week my entire life turned upside down and I found myself in a nose-dive, thrilled with the inevitable plunge I had been stressing about for months.

That same anxious feeling that had ignited this change was also pulling us south, and just as I accepted the Web Designer position at Overit, we found ourselves flying around Troy, hunting for a new apartment that would put us closer to our jobs, closer to family, and closer to the hopping cultural scene we've been craving. We coasted back and forth... first wanting to live on the park, then considering buying a house, before finally settling on a beautifully renovated 3rd floor townhouse in the heart of downtown, complete with an in-ground backyard swimming pool. My heart was in my throat, the excitement too much to take!

Within two weeks we found ourselves completely entrenched in the ride of change that we could no longer escape... the inertia kept pressing us forward, and we found ourselves in New York, celebrating new jobs and new adventures with good friends, drinking scotch and wine at cigar bars after eating nachos and tater tots at a bar called "Trailer Park." And the pendulum kept swinging.

Days later we were picking up boxes at the liquor store, packing and sorting our things, cleaning, recruiting a moving team of friends, and reserving a U-Haul. And in three exhausting days last weekend we finished packing, moved in completely, and unpacked our entire house.

On Monday I collapsed... my body wrecked from the change train that just kept going... I took a day to rest and regenerate, but I could feel myself still swinging. The ride wasn't quite over.

And then Tuesday came, and in one last wave everything converged like fireworks, and life exploded in spurts and bursts of emotion. In the morning, our car was towed and we found ourselves forking out $150 to get it back. In the afternoon, we made a left turn in heavy traffic and collided with another car, smashing our front-end and ending up with a ticket - that made 2 in one day! And then, in the evening, our saving grace: Barack Obama was elected president.

Since Tuesday night I can feel the change bubbling, the excitement mounting, and a bristle of energy in the air. I'm tired... absolutely exhausted... but the pulse isn't slowing, and the tide hasn't come in. I can feel a hum of change under the surface of everything, and instead of waiting, waiting, and wondering when I'll touch the ground, instead I'm looking for the next gush of air - the next joyous spree of life, flinging me and the world in a new direction.

I'll be starting my new job a week from Monday, and the holidays are just around the corner. After that, John will be starting grad school at SUNY Albany, eventually phasing out his job at Skidmore College next summer. At some point, I'm sure, things will calm down again and I'll find myself standing still in the thrill of my own quiet moment, meditating on the churning of time that allows for these crazy ups and downs. For now, I'm loving the ride... and the rush of not knowing what will come next. But it'll be nice, I know, to find myself giddy and glowing, ready to conquer the world, whenever my feet do come back down to the earth.