Cross Country Photo Album
Rather than share every little detail of our last week on the road, take a looky at our photos via the above link.
In summary, let's just say it was an unforgettable time. There's something about being on the road - constantly moving and flying by so many people in their daily lives - that shakes you up a bit and forces you to open your eyes and see things in a new way. You see how similar we all really are. You see how everyone's just trying to live their life, just like you. And you get a glimpse at how massive the world really is... the entirety of it all hits you and you feel small but grateful for the opportunity to see it all. You feel like a voyeur, always peering out the window with sweeping eyes, yet somehow you fit in just at that moment. You realize that wherever you go, you are always home. And you accept the grand placement of all things as time lays it all out.
Really though, it feels good to be home. To come back to our little apartment and the silly material things within it that bring comfort and peace. The quiet rhythm of daily life and its soothing pull that fills you up and solidifies your soul.
So much is happening now in my life... our trip was exactly what I needed to smash myself into a million little pieces and carefully, perfectly but them back in place. I am ready for what' next.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
from the road
four days into our cross-country trip and there's already too much to write, and much fun to report on. this is absolutely the vacation i needed... a mental detour after a stressful but important month for me (and us).
spent monday evening with the yosts drinking wine on the porch. they were quite ecstatic to care for toonces for 2 weeks, and brought us to the albany airport at 4am tuesday morning for our 6am flight. after a layover in detroit, we arrived at las vegas airport at 10:30am pacific time. despite much experience with jet-lag, we took a few days to adjust to the 3-hour time change due to our unusually early flight. good thing we had a hotel to sleep in on our first night...
my parents are on vacation this week in vegas, and we got to crash on a cot in their hotel room at the circus circus. plus, they spoiled us by taking us out to a nice dinner and drive down the strip. mom has an infatuation with slot machines, and the two of us played the penny and nickel slots until she'd won about 30 bucks (on penny slots, no less). we were all zonked, especially my dad, as this was his first time out of the eastern time zone. we crashed by 10:30, and spent the next morning together at Red Rock Canyon, west of vegas. it was stunning, and so cool to see it with my parents who've never seen desert in their lives. we parted ways thereafter, them returning to their hotel and us on our way through the mojave desert to los angeles.
we've been in l.a. since wednesday night and it has been non-stop fun, with reunions with old friends every day. staying with our dear friends thad and jeff and on our first night we went to a buffy the vampire sing-a-long with my girl amy who has been in love with sarah michelle gellar for years. john and i were the only freaks in the audience who'd never seen an episode, but we had a fantastic time laughing and popping noisemakers along with everyone else. at the end, john and amy were star-struck when director/producer joss whedon made a surprise appearance, 5 feet from us (we were in the 2nd row).
yesterday we had a relaxing day at the getty center, one of the coolest most beautiful museums i've ever seen. the humble photography exhibit and impressionist room were both pretty cool, but the highlight by far was tim hutchinson's uberorgan, a giant construction made from wires and plastic that played a music and resonated throughout the building. stunning!
last night we reunited with more rit film kids... kurt and debbie, marcos and crystal, greg and kim, and kurt's brother mike. we had pizza and hung out at their apartment before going out to the red lion - a german pub that served my favorite authentic german lager, bitburger. it was so great seeing everyone and we all agreed we need to do so more often...
today begins late after sleeping in, but john and i are off to zooma zooma beach (the best, according to thad) to get some swim and sun. tonight we may have a party here at thad's to see everyone again one last time before we head north tomorrow. still have a few friends we haven't met up with... should be another fun day.
this will probably be my only post, as from tomorrow on we will be camping...
having a ball, and must say that l.a. has surpassed my expectations. i can see why so many people have come here. it's beautiful, and so much more laid back than nyc.
spent monday evening with the yosts drinking wine on the porch. they were quite ecstatic to care for toonces for 2 weeks, and brought us to the albany airport at 4am tuesday morning for our 6am flight. after a layover in detroit, we arrived at las vegas airport at 10:30am pacific time. despite much experience with jet-lag, we took a few days to adjust to the 3-hour time change due to our unusually early flight. good thing we had a hotel to sleep in on our first night...
my parents are on vacation this week in vegas, and we got to crash on a cot in their hotel room at the circus circus. plus, they spoiled us by taking us out to a nice dinner and drive down the strip. mom has an infatuation with slot machines, and the two of us played the penny and nickel slots until she'd won about 30 bucks (on penny slots, no less). we were all zonked, especially my dad, as this was his first time out of the eastern time zone. we crashed by 10:30, and spent the next morning together at Red Rock Canyon, west of vegas. it was stunning, and so cool to see it with my parents who've never seen desert in their lives. we parted ways thereafter, them returning to their hotel and us on our way through the mojave desert to los angeles.
we've been in l.a. since wednesday night and it has been non-stop fun, with reunions with old friends every day. staying with our dear friends thad and jeff and on our first night we went to a buffy the vampire sing-a-long with my girl amy who has been in love with sarah michelle gellar for years. john and i were the only freaks in the audience who'd never seen an episode, but we had a fantastic time laughing and popping noisemakers along with everyone else. at the end, john and amy were star-struck when director/producer joss whedon made a surprise appearance, 5 feet from us (we were in the 2nd row).
yesterday we had a relaxing day at the getty center, one of the coolest most beautiful museums i've ever seen. the humble photography exhibit and impressionist room were both pretty cool, but the highlight by far was tim hutchinson's uberorgan, a giant construction made from wires and plastic that played a music and resonated throughout the building. stunning!
last night we reunited with more rit film kids... kurt and debbie, marcos and crystal, greg and kim, and kurt's brother mike. we had pizza and hung out at their apartment before going out to the red lion - a german pub that served my favorite authentic german lager, bitburger. it was so great seeing everyone and we all agreed we need to do so more often...
today begins late after sleeping in, but john and i are off to zooma zooma beach (the best, according to thad) to get some swim and sun. tonight we may have a party here at thad's to see everyone again one last time before we head north tomorrow. still have a few friends we haven't met up with... should be another fun day.
this will probably be my only post, as from tomorrow on we will be camping...
having a ball, and must say that l.a. has surpassed my expectations. i can see why so many people have come here. it's beautiful, and so much more laid back than nyc.
Friday, June 15, 2007
the awkward question
this past january i decided, after many years of considering it, to become a vegetarian.
it was an easy decision, surprisingly. i've never eaten much meat, in my entire life. as a child, my mother was always frustrated because she would labor over dinner and i usually would eat only the veggies and potatoes. sometimes i would skip dinner altogether and eat cereal.
but interestingly enough, the hardest part about becoming a vegetarian was something i never really expected: The Question.
it has come up many times now, and the first time it was asked i was quite stunned, without really any answer for it. "Why did you become a vegetarian?"
it really is a complicated answer, though it makes perfect sense in my mind. and until now, i hadn't been able to find a concise, clear, and perfect response.
i found this quote today, and i couldn't have said it any better:
"Do we, as humans, having an ability to reason and to communicate abstract ideas verbally and in writing, and to form ethical and moral judgments using the accumulated knowledge of the ages, have the right to take the lives of other sentient organisms, particularly when we are not forced to do so by hunger or dietary need, but rather do so for the somewhat frivolous reason that we like the taste of meat? In essence, should we know better?"
- Peter Cheeke, PHD (Contemporary Issues in Animal Agriculture, 1999)
it was an easy decision, surprisingly. i've never eaten much meat, in my entire life. as a child, my mother was always frustrated because she would labor over dinner and i usually would eat only the veggies and potatoes. sometimes i would skip dinner altogether and eat cereal.
but interestingly enough, the hardest part about becoming a vegetarian was something i never really expected: The Question.
it has come up many times now, and the first time it was asked i was quite stunned, without really any answer for it. "Why did you become a vegetarian?"
it really is a complicated answer, though it makes perfect sense in my mind. and until now, i hadn't been able to find a concise, clear, and perfect response.
i found this quote today, and i couldn't have said it any better:
"Do we, as humans, having an ability to reason and to communicate abstract ideas verbally and in writing, and to form ethical and moral judgments using the accumulated knowledge of the ages, have the right to take the lives of other sentient organisms, particularly when we are not forced to do so by hunger or dietary need, but rather do so for the somewhat frivolous reason that we like the taste of meat? In essence, should we know better?"
- Peter Cheeke, PHD (Contemporary Issues in Animal Agriculture, 1999)
Friday, June 8, 2007
obsessive, compulsive
I have always had OCD. It was, without any doubt, inherited from my father - whom, god love'm, would vaccuum religiously once a week, spending about an hour doing so in our tiny house, going over each square-inch of carpet at least four times to make sure every speck of dirt, lint, or dust was gone.
I never knew that I had OCD, and to this day, I have never actually visited a doctor for it. It was only brought to my attention by my husband, who was mystified by my inability to complete tasks out of order, and my odd habit of straightening items in front of me, or actually stopping to think about the arrangement of plates, cups, and dishes on the dinner table.
I am sure that my case is a mild one, as it is by no means debilitating. In fact, now that I've noticed my own "psychosis" (as we like to refer to it), I am understanding it, intrigued by it, and actually - quite grateful for it.
When I was home for Christmas last winter, one of my younger second-cousins was blatently affected, too, by this clearly-genetic sydrome. I was chatting with his mother, when we noticed he was re-organizing the plastic cutlery, carefully, quiety separating the spoons from the forks. He looked intense, almost bothered by the mess. His mother talked about him as if he weren't three feet from us - "I don't understand what his problem is." She hid her face with her hand and was visibly embarrassed by her son's quirk. Moments later, she ordered him to stop. I realized then, that what she saw as a abnormal - almost freakish - in her son, was actually a beautiful attention to detail that she should embrace, rather than be ashamed of.
Since then, and since paying attention to my often pointless obsession with organization, I've realized how deeply this compulsion takes its course in my life, and how much of who I am is affected by it. My job as a web designer makes more sense to me than ever - only someone plagued with OCD would stand the mind-numbing task of cleaning up code, carefully, neatly making certain that each line is in order, and is as efficient and lean as possible.
And design goes without saying, I'm realizing. Graphic design is like an addiction for someone who's mind feels a release - a calm - in the visual organization of objects. Whether it's my home space, my work space, or my computer screen - everything in it's place: neat, clean, organized just so. I don't quite understand when I have it - that is, when the pieces of the puzzle are in tact - but when I see it, I know it. And my compulsion is satisfied.
How beautiful it is to revel in our own oddities!
I never knew that I had OCD, and to this day, I have never actually visited a doctor for it. It was only brought to my attention by my husband, who was mystified by my inability to complete tasks out of order, and my odd habit of straightening items in front of me, or actually stopping to think about the arrangement of plates, cups, and dishes on the dinner table.
I am sure that my case is a mild one, as it is by no means debilitating. In fact, now that I've noticed my own "psychosis" (as we like to refer to it), I am understanding it, intrigued by it, and actually - quite grateful for it.
When I was home for Christmas last winter, one of my younger second-cousins was blatently affected, too, by this clearly-genetic sydrome. I was chatting with his mother, when we noticed he was re-organizing the plastic cutlery, carefully, quiety separating the spoons from the forks. He looked intense, almost bothered by the mess. His mother talked about him as if he weren't three feet from us - "I don't understand what his problem is." She hid her face with her hand and was visibly embarrassed by her son's quirk. Moments later, she ordered him to stop. I realized then, that what she saw as a abnormal - almost freakish - in her son, was actually a beautiful attention to detail that she should embrace, rather than be ashamed of.
Since then, and since paying attention to my often pointless obsession with organization, I've realized how deeply this compulsion takes its course in my life, and how much of who I am is affected by it. My job as a web designer makes more sense to me than ever - only someone plagued with OCD would stand the mind-numbing task of cleaning up code, carefully, neatly making certain that each line is in order, and is as efficient and lean as possible.
And design goes without saying, I'm realizing. Graphic design is like an addiction for someone who's mind feels a release - a calm - in the visual organization of objects. Whether it's my home space, my work space, or my computer screen - everything in it's place: neat, clean, organized just so. I don't quite understand when I have it - that is, when the pieces of the puzzle are in tact - but when I see it, I know it. And my compulsion is satisfied.
How beautiful it is to revel in our own oddities!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
nothing wasted
there is an incredible amount of satisfaction i get from getting the most out of the silly little material things in my life. i imagine that it's part of my duty to the planet - one of those little daily offerings to the world, one of my baby steps towards being a good person and being pleased with my contributions to the universe.
i believe that everything adds up. the good, and the bad. the things we do accumulate and really do leave a footprint behind us. that's why i try not to waste anything. and i mean anything.
food goes without saying. i use up every little scrap, either in another dish, as leftovers, or as a contribution to the compost pile. there are too many hungry mouths in the world to toss out food.
lately, we have been manic recyclers. but it's a mania i feel good about. i save jars that i like for dry foods, and sometimes bring them to the co-op to fill with bulk goods. the rest, i recycle, along with cans, plastic containers, paper, and paperboard. it's becoming habit to really pause before tossing anything. i think it's an important habit to acquire.
the best way to prevent excess trash is to not have it in the first place... which is why i've also been thinking before buying. it's actually quite easy, because most food that is good for you has minimal packaging to begin with.
everything else, i try to use until it has nothing more to give. i wear my clothes and shoes out, and try to take good care of them so they will last as long as possible. otherwise, they are off to goodwill or handed down. we don't have much stuff at all, but the furniture and things that we do have, no matter how old and ratty, we try to take care of it all and pass on what we no longer need. the idea is that nothing is wasted, nothing collects dust.
we're by no means perfect - in fact, the other night i tossed out the remains of a disappointing take-out meal that, had i eaten the rest, i may have been ill - literally. but it's the recognition that matters - the fact that i even thought about it is a step.
i believe that it's essential to mankind that we maintain aware of ourselves, our actions, and the impact that we do and can make. while something as thoughtless as tossing rubbish shouldn't put a kink in your day, i do think that taking small measures to pay attention to these things can open our eyes to even better solutions.
i believe that everything adds up. the good, and the bad. the things we do accumulate and really do leave a footprint behind us. that's why i try not to waste anything. and i mean anything.
food goes without saying. i use up every little scrap, either in another dish, as leftovers, or as a contribution to the compost pile. there are too many hungry mouths in the world to toss out food.
lately, we have been manic recyclers. but it's a mania i feel good about. i save jars that i like for dry foods, and sometimes bring them to the co-op to fill with bulk goods. the rest, i recycle, along with cans, plastic containers, paper, and paperboard. it's becoming habit to really pause before tossing anything. i think it's an important habit to acquire.
the best way to prevent excess trash is to not have it in the first place... which is why i've also been thinking before buying. it's actually quite easy, because most food that is good for you has minimal packaging to begin with.
everything else, i try to use until it has nothing more to give. i wear my clothes and shoes out, and try to take good care of them so they will last as long as possible. otherwise, they are off to goodwill or handed down. we don't have much stuff at all, but the furniture and things that we do have, no matter how old and ratty, we try to take care of it all and pass on what we no longer need. the idea is that nothing is wasted, nothing collects dust.
we're by no means perfect - in fact, the other night i tossed out the remains of a disappointing take-out meal that, had i eaten the rest, i may have been ill - literally. but it's the recognition that matters - the fact that i even thought about it is a step.
i believe that it's essential to mankind that we maintain aware of ourselves, our actions, and the impact that we do and can make. while something as thoughtless as tossing rubbish shouldn't put a kink in your day, i do think that taking small measures to pay attention to these things can open our eyes to even better solutions.
shhhh don't tell
i'm enjoying writing to a blog that no one knows about... it's almost like having a diary and leaving it out in the open where you know someone will find it...
as long as i have that false sense of privacy, it's easy to tell secrets, vent and lecture as if to some invisible, eager ears. it's almost dangerously easy. until i get that first comment, i am content in my fantasy.
as long as i have that false sense of privacy, it's easy to tell secrets, vent and lecture as if to some invisible, eager ears. it's almost dangerously easy. until i get that first comment, i am content in my fantasy.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
the in-betweens
it seems lately that my life is always teetering back and forth, playing with the fine line between too much work and too much fun. in either case, it's constant excess. always go go go. there are so few moments of peace, of calm. and even those moments must be penciled in.
work seems to suffocate every weekday. my dayjob is a constant race of completing tasks so that more tasks can be assigned, always working as quickly and efficiently as possible, my mind continually sorting and unsorting, organizating and reorganizing. the scramble dances its way into the evening, when i begin the evening routine of household chores. dinner, dishes, cleaning, laundry, litter box. bills gas groceries. garden recycle compost.
i don't wish to complain, as i've chosen my life and am quite happy with it. and the minutes that are not completely consumed by work are consumed entirely by play.
i can't imagine working so hard, every day, without giving equal effort in having fun. every second of work is motivated by the quiet buzz in the back of my head... the stirring of anxious anticipation of something great coming up... parties. campfires. friends. conversations. drinks. road trips. movies. dancing. good reads. good wine. good food. i play hard, and i love it.
but it's the in-betweens where everything happens. where the stirring begins, where the excitement happens. where the motivation and determination is planted. the quiet, quick little moments between the work and the fun where i am stuck with myself, my thoughts. it's the meditative drive to and from on the northway. it's the seconds before sleep staring at the ceiling. the contemplative glance around the kitchen after a great meal. and yes, even those moments alone in the loo with nothing much else to do.
these are the minutes, seconds even, that define everything else. the definitive pauses that allow us to chart the path for tomorrow, or next week, or next year. life, lately, has been a little song of go go go go pause. go go go go pause. and it's at the pause, in between the gos where we find the strength, reason, and will to continue.
work seems to suffocate every weekday. my dayjob is a constant race of completing tasks so that more tasks can be assigned, always working as quickly and efficiently as possible, my mind continually sorting and unsorting, organizating and reorganizing. the scramble dances its way into the evening, when i begin the evening routine of household chores. dinner, dishes, cleaning, laundry, litter box. bills gas groceries. garden recycle compost.
i don't wish to complain, as i've chosen my life and am quite happy with it. and the minutes that are not completely consumed by work are consumed entirely by play.
i can't imagine working so hard, every day, without giving equal effort in having fun. every second of work is motivated by the quiet buzz in the back of my head... the stirring of anxious anticipation of something great coming up... parties. campfires. friends. conversations. drinks. road trips. movies. dancing. good reads. good wine. good food. i play hard, and i love it.
but it's the in-betweens where everything happens. where the stirring begins, where the excitement happens. where the motivation and determination is planted. the quiet, quick little moments between the work and the fun where i am stuck with myself, my thoughts. it's the meditative drive to and from on the northway. it's the seconds before sleep staring at the ceiling. the contemplative glance around the kitchen after a great meal. and yes, even those moments alone in the loo with nothing much else to do.
these are the minutes, seconds even, that define everything else. the definitive pauses that allow us to chart the path for tomorrow, or next week, or next year. life, lately, has been a little song of go go go go pause. go go go go pause. and it's at the pause, in between the gos where we find the strength, reason, and will to continue.
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